The Memory Before The Worst
by ruthylianneroo
Summary: Set a day before Snape's worst memory. Why Lily was so hurt when Snape called a Mudblood. What happens when Lily revels to Severus who she loves? My first story. Please read and review.


It was unusually warm on this night in May. Around 7 pm as the sun was setting beyond the castle of Hogwarts. Two silhouettes could been seen watching the sunset while sitting on a blanket against the tree.

The couple sitting there seemed to be calm. The girl's red hair seemed to glow in the suns red and orange glow as the shy looking boy admired her in the sunlight.

"Sev, you should have said yes!"

"I don't wish to go out with her in the slightest."

"Why not Sev? She's liked you for a while you know?" Lily explained looking to her best friend.

"Yes I know she has." Severus's mind seemed to wonder as he admired the sunset.

They had been doing exams for almost a week. Luckily one of their last exams was to happen tomorrow; Defence Against The Dark Arts. This year, the school had decided to hold a party for the fifth years after their hard work. And it was stated that EVERYONE must attend, preferably with a date, and to Severus's surprise, Tania Parkinson had asked to be his date, hoping to then become a couple.

"You know Sev, you should really jump at these chances. You don't know when you're going to be asked out again." Just then Snape shot Lily a disgusted look but before he could say anything she continued. "NO! I mean. Sev what I mean is that. Urgh! Sev I'm not saying you're not attractive because you are, I just mean that, some other people may not have the nerve or ever get the nerve to ask you out. So you should jump at the chances when you get them."

Severus stood up in anger and walked towards the lake, trying to keep his temper down. Lily sat and looked puzzled at the boy with black hair. Snape whipped around giving Lily a stare that only meant one thing. "You hypocrite." He whispered aloud, not sure if he wanted Lily to hear that or not. "What about Potter?... He asks you out all the time. Why don't you say yes to him?" He continued. Lily looked at her friend knowing how much he hated James. She wanted to say something but she knew that with an anger issue like Snape's, it was best not to disrupt him. "You sit there being so naive to everything and you have the guts to tell me to jump at the chance of going out with someone. I know I'm not the most good looking guy, I know I'm shy and I know that you're just about my only friend. But you could have the littlest bit of decency and tell me what you honestly think instead of giving this about me being an attractive guy!"Snape was never happy about his look or his reputation, no matter how many time Lily and told him that it didn't matter to her. A disbelieving laugh fell from Snape's breath. "Fuck sake Lily...stop being such a ... such a bitch." They both knew what he was about to say. But even at his angriest Sev had always said he wouldn't call her that name. His realization then suddenly dawned on him as he bowed as head and started walking towards her. "Lil..." She put her hand to stop him speaking as she stood up and walked past him.

"You wanna know why I don't go out with James? It's because of you Sev. It's because I know how much you hate him. Every time I look at him I'm reminded of how much he bullies you." A saddened sigh rolled from her throat as she watched the last bit if sun disappear and as she as it did, she turned to face him. "You want me to go out with him? Fine. But I will never be happy knowing I don't love him and knowing that I betrayed my best friend."

Severus stood there awhile knowing she was right. His head bowed, Lily walked past him and sat back on their picnic blanket. "It's fine Sev, come and sit down will you." He quickly turned and took his original seat next his companion. "Lets just forget about it and do something else." Lily laid down and watched the stars, trying to find the constellations.

"You won't find any." Snape watched the stars also, hugging his legs. "It's the wrong time, and the wrong place." They both stayed there. Watching the sky roll on.

"Sev, can I tell you something?"

"Of course you can you silly cow." He said quietly with a chuckle.

"There's another reason why I won't go out with James. And I don't know what to do." She sat up slowly with Snapes eyes watching her every move.

"Yeah of course..." He knew what she was going to say. "Go on."

Lily stood up not facing him, scared of what he might think.

"I like someone. Someone not James Potter."

_Knew it._

Severus watched Lily hoping she would say something else, hoping what ever she said next would make him feel like shit. But she continued to say nothing. He backed his way to the tree hoping that it would support him when she told him he wouldn't collapse to the ground of complete devastation.

"Lily...I'm gonna need more information than that."

She slowly turned towards him taking a step forward not a word coming out of her mouth.

"Erm...it's not James...Sirius?"

With a step towards him she shook her head.

"Remus?"

Another shake. Another step.

"Frank?"

And again.

"Lucius?"

And again. He realized how close she was getting, another step and they would be nose to nose. Another step and he could grab her and give her the kiss he had wanted to give for the past 5 years.

"Please don't tell me it's Peter."

She took one final step as they became close enough hear each others breath. Severus froze there, scared of letting her get away. He grabbed the tree behind him trying to let his legs turn to jelly. She slowly rested her forehead on his chest. She could feel his heartbeat. Fast. She lifted her right hand. Brushing it against his hand, his forearm, his bicep, his shoulder before placing it behind his neck. She lifted her head to look into his eyes.

"You're such an idiot."

Her lips suddenly met his, lifting her other arm, wrapping around his neck. His eyes wide. Shocked by her actions. _This is LILY. This girl next door._ She took her lips away disappointed by his lack of compassion.

"Sev, all I've wanted is to kiss you. Hold your hand! Walk along side you as people say "Hey look! Its Sev's girl." I've only ever wanted to be yours and only yours. Sev...I've only ever wanted to hold you tight and to know that my world will be great as long as I'm with you."

"You no idea." His hands flew to her hips puling her in. Finally landing that kiss that they had been deprived of for 5 years. Their lips entangled with each others. His tongue desperate enter knowing he must be careful. She finally let him in as they turned and he pushed onto the tree so she wrap her legs around. Not wanting to let go of this moment he slowly untucking her shirt and unbuttoning her shirt starting from the bottom. Her hands searched for the lining of his trousers. Simultaneously they both unbuttoned the final one and began exploring. His hands shook with the intensity of his sexual drive. His hands touched her back sending shivers up her spine. One hand holding her tight around her waist the other messaging her breast. Her hand slowly slid down his chest past his naval, and to the lining of his pants. He then stopped, knowing that if they went any further, he couldn't stop the later actions, and then the consequences. He was scared of the consequences.

"Lily...I can't. I'm sorry I can't." They gasped, and held each other experiencing each others skin. Severus bowed his hand. Ashamed. Ashamed that a boy of 16 had never touched a girl. A boy of 16 had never had sex. He was scared. Lily placed her hands on his cheeks try to look into his eyes.

"Sev look at me. It's fine. It's just me and you now against the world. Just me and you little baby steps at a time. Me and you, Always."

They thought about forever. Not even worried about what tomorrow will bring.


End file.
